You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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