the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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