good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
