i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
