So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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