I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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