so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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