can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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