I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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