i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
