Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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