I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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