Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
