everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
