I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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