I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
