How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
