I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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