happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
