How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
