The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
