like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
