She just used a chaser for red wine.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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