Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
