i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
