Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
