So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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