it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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