Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
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