I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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