if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
did you get engaged???
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
