Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
