just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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