Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize