We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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