I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
