My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
