Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize