I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
whose ass print is on the piano?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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