Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
