Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
