I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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