real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
