I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize