Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
