This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
