In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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