I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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