Your dad touched me again.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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