dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
