I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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