What a fucking waste of an outfit
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
