Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
