I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
