it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
