so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
