I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
