I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
