lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
