I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
