You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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